


fuck it all i cant come up with a cool title with the word envy but here you have two idiots being envious of each other

by onefootintheboilinghotlava



Series: You're Not A Wreck [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec dancing in a club?, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, M/M, Magnus cooking?, Okay more like Alec feel okay to be himself, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-29
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-27 19:05:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8413096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onefootintheboilinghotlava/pseuds/onefootintheboilinghotlava
Summary: After a year of living together, it was only until the summer break that Magnus and Alec had the opportunities to really get to know each other, and maybe a little more about themselves on the way as well. akaFive times Alec or Magnus getting envious of something related to each other and one time Alec realized he need not to be. *This is set in the summer after Magnus and Alec's first year of college.





	1. The "essential" experience in dancing at a club

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm guessing maybe some people WILL be disappointed by the lack of malec in here (not that I think it's lacking...) but it might seem more of exploring the two of them getting to know and interacting with each other. And somehow the last two to three parts of this fic ran out of hand talking about Alec was unexpected...even for me when I wrote it......So forgive me if this ain't what you expect it to be. (My only defence is that I tagged 'pre-relationship'? Is this even a defence?)
> 
> Also, kinda warning ahead, there'll be discussions about coming out and since I'm heterosexual af, if I get anything wrong or wrote anything offensive at all, please do NOT hesitate to let me know. On the other hand, if you find it alright, or even good enough for you to enjoy, I'd be more than honoured to know about it. Thanks ahead for bearing with me <3

Staring at Alec’s dancing in the very middle of the dancing pool, it should have made Magnus excited with the exotic sight of Alec’s movement. Yet, all it brought forth was a pinch of hurt and a wave of anger that he never knew or was never told of how Alec could dance, he knew they weren’t exactly friends and Alec didn’t really owe it to Magnus to share every secret he had. Somewhere through the school year, Magnus found himself counting and catching on every little quirk and practice that Alec had, found himself more and more interested in this tall, handsome and quiet boy. Alec did not seem the usual type that Magnus would fall for, but living together had granted Magnus the opportunities to see Alec cooing over his siblings, rambling when he got stressed while studying and it had been easier to think that Alec’s all for the nerdy or serious type in college would never match up with someone as outgoing and loud as Magnus. It was easier to think that someone like Alec would not understand the fun of going to a club, much less dancing along with Magnus through the night or something. It was all easier for Magnus to think that Alec wasn’t someone for him and prevent himself from crushing on the guy anymore.

 

The world just never seemed to go easy on Magnus somehow, since Izzy persuaded Alec to go to the club with herself and Jace, which led to the current scene unfolding before Magnus. Seeing how Alec could actually fit into a dance club, as if he owned the scene, wearing an outfit (that Izzy picked out, yes Magnus admired her fashion sense but he couldn’t help being jealous of her being the one to dress Alec) that stuck to Alec’s hips like second skin, making his every sway and bounce show, the button-up so soaked with sweat that you could almost see every flex of his muscle while dancing. What’s worst was that Alec seemed to enjoy being flirted and danced with, Magnus was not beyond admitting that he was jealous of every one of the guys and girls that danced and flirted with Alec. Still he wouldn’t go and dance with Alec himself, despite the fact that he was still single and nothing was really preventing him from trying to win over Alec. Ever since getting to know Alec and his siblings, Magnus had seen the guy caring so much beyond his stoic facade and somewhere deep in his heart, he’d already decided Alec was way out of his league for him. The only consolation Magnus could salvage was that Alec didn’t flirt back with anyone. Anyhow, Magnus knew himself, knew what impression and image he had pushed forward for everyone to believe. That vibrant and bubbly person was not someone Alec would fall for. That person was not someone who would read books in silence with Alec.

 

So he gestured to the bartender, ordering another line of shots. It was the end of another semester anyway and they all had the whole summer to waste in front of them anyway. Thus, Magnus considered it completely justified to drink himself to oblivion that night. To be honest, Magnus felt empty once the semester was over. With no assignment or project forcing him to work on something everyday, he found himself lacking a reason to wake up in the morning. He was almost contemplating Catarina’s offer to volunteer in the hospital earlier that day, that he realized how bored and empty his life was that he was actually even considering that one thing he never said yes to Catarina. It was not that he had anything against volunteering or kids, it was just that hospitals had always been his nightmare. The smell and blank white walls only reminded of what he had woken up from when he was small. A hospital was where he woke up from his horrible childhood, as well as where he finally let all the hurt and wounds sink into his heart and mind. He couldn’t afford to sink into those memories anymore, thus he avoided the hospital like the plague.

 

Just as he reached for another shot, letting his mind wander over the bitter past and friends with good intention but bad suggestions, a hand caught his wrist and took away his shot, putting it back down on the counter.

‘Magnus, you’ve had enough. Even if our apartment is just a few blocks away, I am NOT carrying BOTH you and Jace there at the same time. Also, I’m sure you don’t want to clean up the apartment for a whole week, in case you throw up tonight.’

Alec swung himself on the stool beside him, waved at the bartender for a few glasses of water and shoving one glass towards Magnus. The first few buttons were unbuttoned, sweat soaked through the shirt and sleeves rolled up had made Alec even more attractive than ever. The grin he held on his face from the excitement of dancing and having fun with his siblings had made him even more attractive (if that was possible). Magnus’ heart hammered at the beautiful sight in front of him and it took his slightly tipsy mind a few moments to reign in his attraction and decide on a reply. Magnus picked back up the shot, ignoring the glass Alec shoved at him and said.

‘I know how much alcohol I could take and still managed to walk home, unlike you BROTHER there who had no control whatsoever, be it his consumption of alcohol or his reckless dancing. Just focus on taking him to YOUR room, I don’t need anyone, less alone you, to worry over how much I drink, Alexander.’

It wasn’t until Magnus spot the blink of hurt in Alec’s eyes that he realized his response might have come out harsher than he intended, but his guilt was short-lived because it was better to have Alec think of him as a douchebag than to think Magnus actually care about how Alec felt. He knew he was just afraid of getting anymore attached to Alec, that he had to scare him off on his own accounts first. No one else needed to know why he was so harsh on Alec.


	2. A surprise morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Not necessarily set after the first chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the chapters are in chronological order, but not necessary with all the same time span between them.

Magnus found it completely justified to wake up at two in the afternoon, since he went out last night and drunk way more than he should have. What he found unjustified was that there were noises in the living room which woke him up in the first place. Too mad that his ‘sleep away as much of the hangover as possible’ plan was rudely interrupted, he left the room wearing only his sweatpants.

It did not surprise him that it was the three Lightwoods laughing and lounging in the sitting room as he had suspected before opening the door, what did surprise him was the sight of one Simon Lewis being in the mix. It had been quite a few years and a few thousands miles away since he had seen that face, but he would recognize it anywhere.

 

‘Simon Lewis?! What the hell are you doing here?’

‘Magnus? Magnus Bane?’

Simon’s tone first seemed furious, yet his furrowed brows reflected his confusion instead of anger. The two stared at each other for over a minute, both couldn’t come up with words.

The three Lightwoods stared between the two of them, not sure of what was happening. Only Alec had the decency to pause the movie before glancing at Magnus and Simon, okay maybe solely on Magnus because how often did he get to see his hot roommate shirtless and hair all ruffled and messy? Alec was totally not gonna miss this rare opportunity.

‘Anyway, how are you here? You know the Lightwoods?’

Magnus knew there would be so many questions he needed to answer, but he wasn’t sure where Simon stood with him at this moment. Also he was woken up, so he had every excuse of not being the best version of himself for the moment.

‘Hmm…I met Izzy the other night…at the club and we…she…’ The blush was turning so red on Simon that it wasn’t too hard to harbour a guess of what Izzy and he were up to, still it didn’t answer Magnus’ question of how he was here at the moment. This was when Izzy light coughed and gave a reply.

‘Well Simon and I had fun and since he cooked me breakfast in his nerdy shorts in the morning, I decided it won’t be too bad to ask a hook-up if he wanna be a friend as well and join me for the movie marathon.’

‘He was a hook-up? YOUR hook-up? Izzy, I thought you have more taste than this!’ Jace grumbled, which earned him a judgemental look from Magnus, Simon getting angry again and Izzy’s light retort.

‘He is nerd hot and it’s not like your straight as an arrow mind could appreciate beauty even if thrown right in front of you, so…stop judging Simon or me for that matter and I’m sure Alec’s a better judge of whether Simon is hot than you, what do you say brother?’ Izzy turned to give a wink at Alec as she finished.

‘I have no idea.’ Alec shrugged before avoiding Izzy’s gaze and turned his attention back on Magnus.

‘So, Magnus you are roommates with Izzy’s brother now…I know you pretended to not know me for the entire two years back in high school and all that, but… I suppose you know where Clary is now?’ Everyone else in the room would not miss the glint of hope flickering in his eyes as he asked tentatively.

Magnus sighed.

‘I’m sorry, Simon. But with everything happened with Jocelyn and Clary, I couldn’t risk it to still be friends with you back then, but I’m sure this all will be better explain when you see them? You free this evening? It’s usually their family dinner tonight, I could invite you over. I’m sure they’d all be delighted to see you again.’

‘Them? Jocelyn’s here as well? Sure, absolutely! Magnus…just thank you.’ With that, Simon jumped onto Magnus to give him a bone-crushing hug, which was strong enough to push Magnus a few steps back.

‘Calm down, Solomon. Save your hugs and stuff for Clary and Jocelyn. I’m so not awake for your rambling and nonsense.’

‘Magnus…still with the pretending you don’t know my name? This is just..old…’

‘Well, considering the people in this room, I AM old. Even if I don’t look like it.’

It was familiar ground, them snarking at each other, well more like Magnus snarking at Simon and the other taking it without a fight. Clary used to be the one to pacify them with reassurance on Simon that he wasn’t bad or anything and scolding Magnus for teasing her friend.

‘Okay, as much as this, I’m assuming, reunion is touching and all that, would someone clue us in what the hell is happening between the two of you?’

Izzy broke in between the two.

‘Oh right, Isabelle. First thing, I was gonna shout to the four of you for rudely interrupting my sleep. It’s fucking summer break and you all have no right to be so loud when I was sleeping away my hangover. Though, since Samantha is here, I would spare the shouting this time. But please, Lightwoods, next time you have a movie marathon, please think about the poor roommate of Alexander.’

‘Hmm…Sorry Magnus, I…we thought you were out. We’re marathoning Star Wars though, if you…wanna join us? Maybe invite this Clary person over as well?…’

Alec asked tentatively, looking around the room. Ever the strategist and the eldest sibling who had a plan for everything, his mind already reached the one solution that this day would still work for his siblings, Simon and Magnus.

Taking a look at Alec and the room, Magnus nodded.

‘If you want something to eat, I can cook you an omelette? To make up for waking you up the first place?’ Alec added.

Magnus was surprised to hear that. As much as Alec and him had interacted more that week, it was the first time he had offered to cook for Magnus.

‘That…would be delightful. Thank you, Alexander. Sean, I will let you call Clary and ask her to come over after I get dressed, alright?’

Without waiting for a reply, Magnus turned back into his room and shut the door.

 

He took a deep breathe before reaching for his phone. As he texted Clary and Jocelyn, he recalled the days when he was still a loner in high school. It felt so long ago that he was the quiet one in class, that it took Clary over a month of sharing art class to drag him out for a drawing session with her. She didn’t mind that Magnus would only give her one word replies, talked passionately about what she wanted to draw or sketch, laughed at how Simon never understood what she was drawing but always guessed with superheroes and tv shows’ references. When she first invited him over for dinner, Simon was there as well. Jocelyn smiled warmly to him, but Magnus was slow to trust a parent, after everything he had been through. He would watch the two talked a mile a minute with each other, while Jocelyn told him embarrassing stories of the two. It sounded like a family.

He warmed up to Clary. It was great to have someone else to talk about art, especially since Catarina had turned her focus on studying for nursing school. Subsequently, he saw a lot of Jocelyn and Simon, unfortunately Valentine as well. It was spring when a crying Clary dragging Jocelyn to Magnus after-school one day. Jocelyn gradually told him about the abuse of Valentine on her and occasionally on Clary as well, how she was barely holding up financially and mentally for Clary and herself. Magnus brought them to Zachariah, the social worker that helped on his own case. He became the only one who knew about their plan to run away from Valentine, from the town forever. He remembered the days he would try to draw superheroes and villains alike, sending them over to cheer Clary up from the absence of Simon.

After he moved to New York himself for college, he was introduced to Luke as well. The old friend of Jocelyn, who helped them resettled in New York and rekindled his affection for Jocelyn. He could see that it was only a matter of time that the two adults would get together. The three of them looked like the perfect family. Now that Simon could be reunited with them and having the Lightwoods siblings so happily being with each other was basically shoving the picturesque definition of belonging somewhere onto Magnus’ face, one thing that he would never get to have.


	3. A talk on groceries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the chapter title suggests, Alec and Magnus talked about groceries for the summer

Even since Simon and Clary started to hang out again, she took complete advantage of the fact Magnus was her friend who owned his own place (kinda, since Alec lived there as well) which allowed them to do whatever they wanted away from their parents’ preying eyes. (Simon stayed with his sister, while his parents were back home.) Seeing that Izzy and Jace would often hang out with Alec at their place as well, it had become a sort of big group. (It did help that Jace had gradually been building a crush on Clary and Izzy appreciated a hook-up that could actually turn into a friend for once.) Magnus was constantly invited to join their movie nights and Clary’s random drawing sessions throughout the summer, yet the freelance projects he had taken on had given him a perfect excuse to say no to every invitation. He had to begrudgingly admit that the Lightwoods and Simon weren’t bad company. As much as he had no intention of ‘joining’ such a group of happy people and the few freelance projects eating up his time, Clary was his friend and Izzy having an impeccable sense of fashion (that could ALMOST rival his, if he might say so) eased him into interacting a little more with the rest of the group than he had thought. He could see how Simon’s most random rambling would help with Clary’s sudden creative outburst, how Izzy relished in having someone who actually wanted to get to know her and not just admiring her looks and outfits. That was how he could see Clary and Simon merging into the Lightwood siblings seamlessly. It didn’t hurt that Jace would always lose if Clary and him were arguing on something, and that made both Alec and Izzy amused and glad that their brother had yet another rival. As much as Magnus could win snarking against Jace, it was rare to see the guy completely defeated under Clary’s rebukes and merciless teasing. Magnus found delight in observing their dynamics, he supposed it did help with his inspiration and creativity.

 

It was yet another normal weekday during the long summer break. Magnus had just returned from a grocery store, upon the begging of both Izzy and Clary for him to stock up on popcorn for their movie nights. (Well if he bought other normal groceries for cooking dinner AND desserts for all of them, no one needed to know.) Contrary to what everyone might think of him, Magnus could be a morning person when there were no obligations requiring him to wake up and given that he didn’t go out the night prior. Thus, it was only a little after one when Alec returned (from god knows what) and saw him dicing up apples, while a pot of pasta was boiling on the stove.

 

Alec swung down his backpack and took off his shoes and walked up to the kitchen counter. He had just returned from another study session with Lydia at their favourite coffee shop.

 

‘Wow there’s lot of fruits, sugar and flour you got, planning on baking something later?’

 

Alec stood a foot away from the counter, which had a pie crust lying out, waiting for the filling. Magnus glanced over Alec for a moment, before returning to the task at hand and nodded.

 

‘Yeah figured you guys might be bored with popcorn and those cupcakes that were definitely not made by Izzy, and an apple pie with vanilla ice-cream would be a decent change.’

 

He finished dicing the apples, turned on the other stove, dumped a generous amount of butter onto the pan and waited for it to melt.

 

‘But…I thought you weren’t joining us for movie nights?’

 

Alec questioned, looking at Magnus pouring the diced apples into the pan, flipping them occasionally until they were sizzling.

 

‘I’m not, I will put the pie into the fridge later. That way, you guys can just reheat it in the oven and scoop some ice-cream on your own later on. Unless you are telling me that none of you five could reheat any food? Or don’t know how to scoop ice-cream out?’

 

Alec did not notice that his hand had dropped his backpack on the floor and was watching intently to Magnus’ apple-cooking, half-leaning towards the counter.

 

‘We do know how to do all that, I’m just curious to why are you making us pie when you aren’t gonna be there with us anyway? Not that I’m not grateful or gonna ask you if there’s anything I could do for you in return? But just…curious?’

 

To be honest, Alec was delighted to know that there would be apple pie for the night, still he didn’t understand Magnus, who had declined again and again on their invitation to join their group activities, aside from that fateful afternoon Simon first showed up, would be making them pie.

 

‘Seeing Clary is my friend and you are my roommate, I do not want to see you all die at my place from an overdose of junk food. So, I am doing a favour for all of us. A little baking, in exchange for you all not dying in my, our place. If you’d like to help, maybe help with putting away the rest of the groceries? I was too hungry when I got back from the store, so I went straight to cooking. Do you want some of it? It’s just gonna be cream sauce with mushrooms and asparagus though.’

 

Magnus turned his back to Alec, grabbing the sugar and cinnamon from the spice rack and dumped some into the pan. He turned off the stove that had the pasta boiling before he picked up the spatula and made sure the spices got mixed in well with the apples. Listening to Magnus’ request, Alec walked towards the bags laying in front of the fridge and started to pick through them. He picked up a box of decaf powder coffee, reread the label to make sure he didn’t read it wrong.

 

‘Magnus, neither of us ever had decaf coffee? Did you grab the wrong pack at the store? Do you want me to return it or something?’

 

‘No, I didn’t get it wrong. Izzy and Simon drink that sometimes, don’t they? It won’t keep them awake for too long, but just enough warmth for them to pull through the movie.’

 

Alec held his gaze on Magnus’ movement, having heard his reply. Magnus added a little water into the pan and put on the lid, letting it simmer a little. Then he took the drain and set it in the sink, turned back to the stove to grab the pot of pasta and poured it into the drain.Then he turned to the grocery bags and helped Alec to sort them out. He put away a few cans of soup and cartons of milk before finally looking at Alec.

 

‘Something wrong? You’ve been staring at me and holding that damn box of cookie crisp for way too long, Alexander.’

 

‘I’m just, again…surprised? How would you know what Izzy and Simon have for movie nights when you are ever barely there with us? Even I don’t remember what would be in Clary’s mug when we watch movies?’

 

If Alec could say so himself, as the eldest brother, he did remember Izzy and Jace’s take on their coffee, he knew their favourite cartoon and secret talents, knew Izzy prefer fruit juice than alcohol, Jace secretly had a stuffed toys collection and named each of it after someone he liked. Magnus seemed to take ‘attention to the detail’ to the whole new level, though. Alec could and would pay attention to things that happened in his presence, but Magnus buying decaf coffee for Izzy and Simon when he wouldn’t so much as accept their invitation to said movie nights or nights out together, there was every reason for Alec to be surprised.

 

‘While I don’t “hang out” with you guys, I do spend time with Clary and that means inevitably Simon as well. Since Simon does see Luke and Jocelyn as his other parents, I’d somehow been told of his beverage preferences more than I ever wanted to know. Also, since Simon has so many crush objects that he would keep talking about them, I’ve been informed also way too many times of your sister’s preferences on a lot of things. Which includes the very box of funky animal biscuits that both Simon and Izzy love but couldn’t find it anywhere. Oh but I should probably let you know that crush was short-lived, so no need to go all brotherly fury on Simon or anything, Alexander.’

 

Magnus waved in front of Alec a green box that shown funny animal-shaped biscuits and turned to put it into the lower cupboard. By then they were mostly done with all the milk, cereal, fruits, veggies, packets of tea and coffee and cocoa, until there was just one bag left, previously hidden behind all the other bags.

 

‘MAGNUS, why do we need FIVE CARTONS of ice-cream?’

 

Alec promptly held four cartons in his hands, left one in the bag because he couldn’t hold it all, almost shoving them in front of Magnus. Magnus merely picked two up and bent down to open the freezer section and put them inside, then took the remaining three and put them there as well. Turning back to the stove and turned it off, Magnus proceeded to pour the filling into the pie crust he had put out earlier before answering Alec’s question.

 

‘Your sister complains there is never her favourite ice-cream, because you only buy those traditional favours, either vanilla or chocolate. As much as Simon loves vanilla , he got bored with just one favour after a while. And you never bought Clary’s or my favourite, which are strawberry and mint-chocolate. Also, with the frequency that Raphael has snuck in here and just hung around for no purpose at all. I might as well buy him some raspberry sorbet to entertain him. Hence, your traditional chocolate and vanilla, strawberry, cherry, mint-chocolate and the sorbet. Does this answer satisfy you, Alexander?’

 

Upon hearing Magnus’ answer, Alec did recall his sister occasionally whining that strawberry was a classic too. Also, during some of Jace’s long-ass ranting on Clary, whom he had apparently developed a crush on, liking a different favour of ice-cream than he did and thus they couldn’t be soulmates or something.

 

While Alec was still staring at the closed freezer’s door, Magnus already put the pie into the oven and set the approximate time for it to be baked. He proceeded to dump a few cloves of garlic and a tiny chunk of butter back into the same pan, wait until the butter melted and threw in the mushroom and asparagus. It wasn’t until the head of the asparaguses seemed to be roasted that Alec could muster up a reply.

 

‘Wow…you just really take in details like no other, Magnus.’

 

‘Nah’ I just have more time and attention to spare. It’s always easier for an outsider to tell different things than someone inside the friend group or whatsoever you five are. Could you please take two plates and forks out? The pasta is almost done, just let me finish the cream sauce and put it all onto the pasta. You might wanna put away your backpack and everything before we eat?’

 

Alec promptly followed what Magnus asked of him, putting two plates beside the stove and setting the forks on the counter. (They didn’t have a table, for god sake they were undergrads not proper adults that need a proper dinner table. Besides, having a kitchen counter that looks like half a bar is cool for Magnus’ taste, okay?) Only then, he finally noticed his backpack behind (or in front?) the counter and grabbed it into his room.

 

Alec felt guilty. He had always prided himself on how observant he would be with the people he loved, namely his siblings, yet Magnus definitely seemed better at it. He felt bad that he never indulged Izzy’s preference, he felt like he was the one who should remember Izzy always liked decaf coffee when she couldn’t sleep at nights. He was jealous of Magnus who could do all this for them so effortlessly, at least it looked like so. The worst was that he knew Magnus had no intention of making Alec feel this way with everything he did for the group. He was both confused and amazed with how far Magnus went for people that he didn’t even hang out with. He only wished that he could be somewhere closer to that.

 

He wanted to get to know his roommate. At first it was only because Izzy and Jace nagged him on his social etiquettes with ‘ALEC YOU LIVE WITH THE GUY AND NOW YOU ARE GONNA LIVE WITH HIM FOR ANOTHER YEAR, GET TO KNOW THE HOT GUY!’ Then, Magnus’ deliciously-cooked meals and volunteering to get groceries whenever Alec seemed to be swamped by his summer classes happened and Alec was grateful for his kindness. That was when he wanted to get to know his roommate better on his own term. Yet as friendly as Magnus was to everyone, he still refused their (mainly Alec’s) every invitation on joining them on movie nights. Knowing all the cartons of ice-cream in the freezer, Alec was frustrated this time that Magnus could be bothered to be kind to them but never spend time with them.

 

Meanwhile, outside in the sitting room, Magnus was putting the cooked asparagus and mushrooms onto the plate, pouring a box of double cream into the pan, as well as the drained pasta. He picked up the salt and pepper bottles from the rack and dumped some into it, stirred them altogether and waited for a minute or two before putting the vegetables in it. He added a little water and milk into it before covering it. His mind thinking that it would only be a week more before he could finally accept Alec’s offer on joining them for movie nights.


	4. What to expect on the Fourth of July? FIREworks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang went out to celebrate the Fourth of July and...

It was the Fourth of July and the group had decided to go out after a nice dinner cooked by Magnus, bringing booze and snacks to a nearby park. They were just laying on the grass and chit-chatted. Alec had looked forward to Magnus officially joining them for once. He had invited the man to join them for the Fourth of July a few days ago, and half-expected Magnus to turn down the invitation again, but Magnus had agreed. Not only that, but he was enthusiastic enough to text with Izzy over the details and offered to cook them dinner, so they didn’t need to have cheap take-out or wait for ages out for a restaurant.

 

Alec was sitting on the picnic blanket, enjoying his siblings and friends playing around. Jace was blindfolded and listening to all of their instructions, trying to identify who’s telling the truth of which direction he should follow, in order to catch Simon. (Basically the game here is one being blindfolded and have to follow the rest of the players for instruction of how to reach the ‘victim’. Only one among those instructing would be telling the truth and the rest would attempt to lead him astray.)

 

‘Go straight!’ Clary shouted and Jace walked forward for a few steps.

 

‘No, turn left!’ Izzy was jumping up and down to emphasize her direction.

 

‘You can do both, Jace.’ Only Magnus seemed rather calm in his tone, though Alec could spot a slight smirk on his face (not that blindfolded Jace could see).

 

‘Magnus, you are really stupid with this game, aren’t you? Saying that is basically telling me you aren’t the one telling the truth. You are no fun!’ Jace grumbled as he turned slightly left, deciding to try his crush’s suggestion and against his sister’s suggestion.

 

‘Keep going straight!’ Clary repeated.

 

‘No, go further left, Jace.’ Izzy insisted.

 

‘Turn slightly right.’ Magnus said calmly, not a bit affected with Jace’s previous jab on him.

 

Unbeknownst to Jace, Magnus was technically the one telling the right instructions, but he had not minded to watch how the girls’ plan unfold. Simon was standing across the river, trying to hide his laughter, while Alec was doing the same on the picnic blanket.

 

Jace took another tentative step forward and his shoes touched upon a duck by the river. A quack followed and before Jace tore down his blindfold, a few ducks were already ducking at his shoes and pants, quacking loudly at him. Once Jace could see again, he jumped up in the air and screamed. The rest of the group bursted into laughter, looking at Jace scrambling to run back to Alec and the safety of being farther from the river.

 

‘Well that was fun to watch.’ Alec teased at his brother, whom could only angrily pointing at him while catching his breath.

 

‘You didn’t warn me!’ Jace stuttered, still recovering from close encounter with his enemy, ducks.

 

‘Blondie, you are the one that chose to not listen to the one who was saying the truth.’ Magnus sat against the tree, amusement apparent on his face. Izzy and Clary hi-fived each other as they joined the boys back on the picnic blanket, with Simon trailing right behind them.

 

Alec opened another bottle of wine and passed it around, knowing the rest would be thirsty and desire more alcohol to get tipsy as the night grew. Light chatter filled the air as they admired the July Fourth fireworks up in the sky, it filled Alec with contentment. Not that he hadn’t been content with just Jace and Izzy, but he missed having a whole group of people that he felt comfortable with. Ever since he realized he was gay, he hadn’t been feeling comfortable at home, knowing his parents’ implicit disgust with anyone not dating the opposite sex. Spending over a month with Jace and Izzy, occasionally with Max, as well as Clary and Simon had become his friends. He could chat with any of them comfortably, no one had ever utter anything but supportive of different sexual orientations and identities. Even though Alec hadn’t come out, he felt more comfortable with the fact than he had in a long time. He took another sip from the bottle and passed it to Jace.

 

Feeling a heavy gaze on him, he glanced up and saw Magnus staring at him. He threw him a questioning look, as Jace took the bottle with him and joined Simon who was digging hard in his backpack.

 

‘I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so relaxed, Alexander.’ Magnus said after another beat of silence. Alec shrugged, still not sure what to reply.

 

‘Didn’t think you’d warm up so quickly with … Clary.’ Yet Magnus glanced towards Jace, before turning back on Alec. Alec’s heart beat at the Magnus’ words. Sure, he had been jealous of Clary when she first crashed into their lives, but he had realized his childhood crush on his adoptive brother was something out of convenience. Still, he was slightly jealous of all the attention Jace had thrown her way, so different from what he gave his siblings. He didn’t think anyone, not even Izzy, had caught on with his crush or jealousy. He could only stare dumbfounded at Magnus, feel the blush rushing on his cheeks. Sensing Alec’s embarrassment and unease, Magnus quickly added.

 

‘I won’t say a word, Alexander. I knew how it felt… But I think they would be okay with knowing your preference…’

 

‘Of course you’d say that, everyone’s okay with you being a, what’d you call it, “freewheeling bisexual”.’ Alec couldn’t help but sound defensive with his response. He regretted his word once he saw the slight hurt on Magnus’ face, but the words were out and Magnus turned back to his normal face before Alec could say anything.

 

‘Yeah’ of course it’s easy for me. It’s just…so easy for me…’ Magnus whispered. If Alec hadn’t known what himself had said, he’d have thought Magnus meant it non-sarcastically.

 

‘I’m…’ Before Alec could finish his sentence, Magnus had already turned towards the rest of the group, taking out a packet of tortilla chips and another plastic bag from his bag.

 

‘Though we can’t really bring guacamole, I did bring some avocados and chips, so we can make our own dip and enjoy it?’ Magnus’ grinned at the surprised and eager looks from the rest of the group, zero reflection of what Alec and him talked about.

 

‘Magnus, you’re the BEST!’ Izzy exclaimed, rushed to take out the knife and started cutting the avocados open. Jace wasted no time in tearing open the packet of tortilla chips and just started eating.

 

‘Hey, that’s for everyone! And to eat with the avocados, what the hell are you doing?’ Simon shouted, while Clary grabbed the packet away from Jace.

 

‘No chips for you until we all had our turns.’ Clary declared, holding victoriously the packet and hi-fived with Simon over Jace’s head.

 

‘Well Jace, I’m glad to see someone else can bring forth your downfall. Brother.’ Izzy winked as she scooped some avocados onto the chips that Simon and Clary were holding before her.

 

‘Damn, Magnus you really have the best ideas. You can cook and prepared all these amazing stuff and thought out the whole plan for this day. How did we survive without you hanging around.’ Simon said as he took another chip.

 

‘We just don’t, Simon. Magnus cooked for our movie nights, cleaned up the place if we ever made a mess. We just don’t. Magnus is the honorary member of this group.’ Izzy cut open the next avocado, as she shoved her shoulder towards Magnus lightly. Magnus returned with a smile.

 

‘That’s pretty accurate, Isabelle. This ain’t even all I’ve got. Any of you want some corndogs? I know a guy hold a stall somewhere close, I can go get some?’ Magnus stood up from the picnic blanket and picked up his jacket.

 

‘You sure? You’ve done more than enough for us tonight, not mentioning this is your first time joining us altogether, we should be getting corndogs for you.’ Simon walked towards his backpack.

 

‘Nah it’s alright, Stanley. I just have a corndog craving and the guy who owns the stall is a friend, wanna say hi to him anyway.’ Magnus turned away without waiting for them to reply if they wanted corndog or not.

 

‘Hey guys, I brought some sparkles and fountains with me, let’s go a little further away and burn them all!’ Simon threw out several packs of fireworks from his backpack.

 

Staring at Magnus walking away, Alec replayed the conversation in his mind. He would admit that he was caught off-guard with Magnus knowing his crush on Jace. His time in college, paired with knowing Magnus more in this summer had made Alec realize his ‘crush’ on Jace was just a safe option for himself. That pinning for Jace, some he could never have, prevented him to be attracted by other guys or ever act on said attractions. It helped that he got to know Lydia at one of Magnus’ parties and after she confided in him that she was bisexual, the two chatted with each other for the whole night. It further fostered their friendship when they found out they were taking a few classes together in the spring semester. Still, just when he thought he was out of the crush with no one else knowing his secret, Magnus dropping the bomb required more than a few minutes for Alec to feel alright. It wasn’t that he hadn’t contemplated coming out to his siblings, but ever since their group had included Simon and Clary, Alec did not feel comfortable for them to know so he kept his mouth shut on the matter. It took Alec a few more moments to let it sink it that Magnus only meant well with his comment on Clary with Alec. He looked around, seeing the rest of the group was already burning up the fireworks Simon brought or rolling on the grass, yet Magnus still hadn’t come back.

 

‘Guys, I’m gonna go find Magnus.’ Alec stood up and told the group. Jace and Izzy only waved at him before getting back to setting their fireworks aflame. He checked his purse and phone before walking down the same way as Magnus did earlier. He was a little afraid that he won’t be able to find the stall, since he was still not as familiar with their neighborhood as Magnus was once he got out of the park area. However, since it was the Fourth of July and Alec only needed to trace the flow of people holding a corndog. Just as he reached the corndog stall, he saw Magnus hugging a man a little further away from the stall.

 

‘Hello sir, do you want a corndog?’ A female voice shook Alec out of his thoughts of what should he say to Magnus. Alec nodded without thinking, only to realize a second later that he didn’t plan on buying a corndog and scrambled to get his purse out to pay.

 

‘Catarina, it’s alright. He’s a friend, I’ll pay for his.’ Magnus’ voice rang beside Alec, the guy he was hugging was back behind the stall.

 

‘Magnus, you sure?’ The girl (Catarina? Alec pondered) glanced over to the other guy and back at Magnus, seemed to have a silent conversation with Magnus in front of Alec. Both of them got quiet waiting for Alec’s corndog and Magnus waved goodbye to the two working the stall before he started walking back to the park with Alec.

 

‘Umm…I just wanted to say sorry. I shouldn’t have said that back there…’ Alec stuttered through his apology, still feeling awkward and not sure of what to say, seeing Magnus being silent was too obscure.

 

‘It’s alright Alec. You should have your secret, it wasn’t up to me to just tell you that I knew. You are allowed to flip when I dropped a bomb on you.’ Magnus replied coldly. Only then Alec chanced a glance on Magnus’ face and saw his eyes slightly different from before. It took him another second to notice that it was because somehow Magnus had removed his eye make-up and they seemed a little puffy.

 

‘Still…I shouldn’t have said that it’s easy for you…I don’t know you…..Are you alright? Was it something else? I am so sorry, Magnus.’ Alec scratched the back of his neck, feeling unsettled by the possibility that his words had made Magnus cry.

 

‘Yeah exactly, you don’t know me.’ Magnus walked a few steps ahead of Alec and Alec dragged his wrist to prevent him from walking further away.

 

‘Magnus, please. I am sorry, please let me know what exactly did I say wrong? Was it something sensitive to you? I know… I should be the one who understands that coming out to such extent would be anything but easy.’ Alec pleaded, still holding onto Magnus’ wrist and standing on the sidewalk.

 

‘Alec I’m fine. Yes you accidentally pushed a button of mine when you said that, but I’m fine NOW. Stop thinking that everything can be your fault and you’re the one to fix it or whatever. You don’t know me. Can we just be done with this conversation and get back before YOUR friends setting the park aflame or something?’ Magnus flipped off Alec’s hold on him.

 

‘But I want to get to know you, Magnus. If you didn’t think us as friends before, then I want to remedy that. You spent the whole summer cooking for us, fixing everything so we can hang out in comfort, yet you never had time to be with us yourself. You only meant well when you told me maybe they’d be okay with the fact that I prefer guys over girls.’ As the words came out of Alec’s mouth that he realized how true they were. He used to envy Magnus’ ability to take care of everyone else so well, yet it had turned into amazement once he took in what Magnus told him last time. He admired how much Magnus was willing to do for him and he was dying to know more about this amazing guy in front of him.

 

Suddenly Magnus’ phone started ringing, they both looked down at the screen and it said ‘Clarissa’.

 

‘Yes biscuit. You guys ready to go? Yeah Alec found me. Can you keep the bags for me? I will get them back next time I come over for dinner. Yeah Alec and I will get home on our own. Happy Fourth of July. I’ll see you later.’ With that, Magnus hung up.

 

‘So, they are all heading home and Clary had picked up the remains and brought home with her. You wanna head home for this conversation? Magnus sighed and slipped his hands into his jeans pockets, looking expectantly at Alec.

 

‘What about I treat you a hot chocolate at the cafe round the corner before we head home? It’s still a little chilly and…Unless, of course if you feel more comfortable back home, we should do that then.’ Alec was relieved that Magnus agreed to have a chat with him, though his stuttering didn’t seem to take a backseat.

 

‘Yeah, chocolate sounds like a good idea.’ Magnus finally smiled a little at that and walked closer to Alec, as they turned around to head for the small coffeeshop instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is more like Chapter 4.1...  
> I will include the graph of how the game is like later on.


	5. GUEST STARS APPEAR!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is more like 4.2...

The bell rang as Alec pushed open the door to the coffeeshop. Only one staff was seen in the shop and was cleaning the counter with the least interest possible. The guy turned around as Alec and Magnus walked towards the counter and muttered.

 

‘Welcome to the Grumpy cafe, how may I help you?’

 

‘One plain hot chocolate and a caramel chocolate, please.’ Alec ordered, as Magnus sat down on the couches beside the window. Thoughts swirled in Magnus’ mind. He didn’t know how this evening had turned out like this with Alec at all. It wasn’t his intention to get mad with Alec, nor would he ever expect Alec to be so insistent on asking after him. He could have refused to tell Alec anything more, but Alec’s sincerity and gratitude had shook him. He couldn’t refuse Alec, under such circumstances (or any, really Magnus was lying to himself, if he thought he could ever refuse Alec anything). Still, he felt more tired than before. It wasn’t all the cooking or spending time with a big group, but Alec’s words accidentally recalling his past had made everything suddenly so draining for him.

 

‘Thanks… Derek.’ Alec paused for a second to get a better look at the barista’s name tag, as he picked up the tray with the two chocolates. Derek nodded at him before dropping his head and cleaned off the machine.

 

‘Here’s our chocolate, Magnus.’ Alec sat down opposite to Magnus, not sure where to start.

 

‘Thanks, Alec. So…where do you wanna start?’ Magnus took a sip of his caramel chocolate and leaned back on the couch.

 

‘I’m not so sure……Maybe… so you don’t like the word “easy”? Or how was it for you to come out? I don’t really know how to start, Magnus. All I know about you from the past year is that you’re a fashion major, you hold awesome parties, you seem to know everyone, you make sure all your guests are safe, either home or otherwise. You buy groceries more than your fair share and paid for them as well. And that you can cook like a pro, at least to me.’ Alec rambled, as he could feel the blush turning deeper. It earned a light laughter from Magnus.

 

‘Alexander, those aren’t wrong. Well…let’s see. I’m an orphan, grew up in an orphanage which was in Clary’s hometown. That was why Clary’s mum came to me when they were planning to leave for here back in my high school years. Jocelyn needed me to direct her for the social services’ help, because she wasn’t sure who to trust in the town. I knew if I were to get out of town, then I’d need to earn the money myself. So I got into freelance jobs and part-times during my high school years. At the same time, as an orphan to not be bullied in school was to build up your own personnel, so that people either don’t dare to touch you or come to you with open arms. I did the latter and earned myself a reputation of an easy lay.’ Magnus’ tone turned bitter only with the very last sentence. Alec was so stunned that it took him more than a few seconds to react.

 

‘God, Magnus I’m so sorry…’ Still, he couldn’t find the word to express himself.

 

‘It’s alright, Alexander. It’s not like “easy” is always gonna be trigger word for, since it’s quite a common word. I didn’t hate the reputation then, it gave me opportunities to explore, though also required me to learn how to defend myself. All because some people just can’t seem to grasp the proper meaning of bisexual isn’t fucking anything offered to them. What’s not easy was after that. Sex gets boring after a while, when it’s all with people you don’t really care about and vice versa. Then, people would say to you, you aren’t acting as a bisexual, as if fucking guys and girls are all bisexuals do all day. People in small towns can be so ridiculous sometimes. Anyhow, it took me months to get over with how people think of me being bisexual, or maybe it wasn’t getting out of town that helped. Either way…Point being, it wasn’t, hasn’t been easy on me to come to terms with being bisexual and yet it doesn’t define me. Alexander…all I meant when I made that remark in the park was that…I’ve seen you with your friends and family the entire month. The way you care for each other is clear of how much you all love each other and let it show. That, and also knowing how welcoming Clary and Jocelyn had been with me coming out as bisexual, you can be assured that Clary and Simon aren’t gonna judge, if you ever come out. Besides, I suspect Isabelle at least knows you’re not totally straight anyway…It’s not that I think you should or anything, it’s only that if you ever feel like doing so, rest assured that they are all gonna be here for you. You deserve to be happy and I wanna let you know you can have more, Alexander.’ Magnus felt lighter after all the words were spoken and took another gulp of his chocolate.

 

‘Magnus……Thank you.’ Alec was still processing everything Magnus just told him when a stranger bounced off in front of him.

 

‘Okay guys, sorry for interrupting but the shop is closing in minutes and I will kick anyone that’s preventing my BOYFRIEND to spend the remaining Four of July with me ass, or asses for that matter.’ Both Magnus and Alec stared at the new stranger, who was wearing a batman t-shirt and jeans.

 

‘Stiles, I told you not to harass my customers!’ The barista from before came out from the counter and stood beside the new stranger.

 

‘First, I’m NOT harassing them, I’m merely friendly-ly informing them it’s closing time. Second, it’s technically your sister’s coffeeshop, so they aren’t YOUR customers but Laura’s, okay?’

 

‘Sorry about him…’ Derek, the barista, seemed to want to apologise but Magnus beat him to it.

 

‘It’s all fine. We should go, if it’s closing time. Besides, it the Fourth of July, everyone deserves more time with the ones they care about. Thanks, Derek and…Stiles?’ Magnus pondered over the last word, not sure if he got the stranger’s name correct.

 

‘What is a Stiles?’ Alec was still in half a haze of what Magnus told him and the energetic stranger crushing into the scene.

 

‘Oh okay, sorry. My NAME is Stiles, well not the official one, cause that’d be a disaster, but the one I go by. As friendly as I am with Laura, the owner of this coffeeshop, I do not know all of her regulars. HOWEVER, since this gentleman who knows not to interrupt further is wearing the flashiest and most sparkly jacket I’ve ever seen, I’m assuming you’re Magnus. The guy which Laura loves to observe for fashion inspiration.’ The guy, Stiles, held out his hand towards Magnus and Alec. Magnus shook his hand.

 

‘Well I am a fashion major and I am glad that someone could find inspiration with whatever I wear. Happy Fourth of July, you two. Goodbye.’ Magnus picked up his jacket and went beside Alec.

 

‘Let’s get home, Alexander.’ Only then did Alec react, he nodded to Derek and Stiles before following Magnus out of the coffeeshop. Alec glanced back into the coffeeshop one last time as they passed the glass windows. He saw the guy Stiles giving a small chunk of flowers to Derek before kissing him. Alec averted his eyes once he saw them kissing.

 

‘They seem quite a pair, right Alexander?’ Magnus asked beside him, attempted to lighten the mood.

 

‘Yeah’ they seem so.’ Alec agreed, thoughts still striking typhoons in his mind and Magnus seemed to pick up on it and decided to stay quiet through the walk home.

 

Alec kept replaying the scene between Derek and Stiles in his head, how Stiles casually announce to strangers that someone was his boyfriend, how he could say it out loud with ease that he’s to spend time with him. At the same time, Alec saw the light blush on Derek’s cheeks as he came to stop Stiles, he saw Derek’s hand sneaking behind Stiles, holding his waist. Alec saw the flower and the kiss, heard how Stiles claim to know Derek’s sister as well. Along with everything Magnus talked to him about, Alec knew that he wanted it. He had dreamt of having his family accepting him, of it being okay to bring home a boyfriend for Izzy and Jace to harass about, seeing all this before him made him want it more, want it to be real. He wanted to have someone whom he could kiss whenever he wanted to, just because he could. He wanted to have someone to give flowers to. He wanted to bring someone for a date at a coffeeshop. Maybe, if Magnus was right about his siblings, Clary and Simon, he could have all of it someday sooner than he ever imagined.

 

Magnus, on the other hand, had something very different on his mind. He was relieved that he could talk to Alec, but still he felt conflicted. Alec’s insistence of getting to know him had only made Magnus’ crush on him worse, while Magnus also felt like he was guiding Alec somehow. He’d have been glad that his experience was able to reassure someone else on being comfortable with their sexuality, yet this was Alec. Somehow, Magnus felt like if he’d fill the role of guiding Alec along the way, he was more likely to see Alec dating other guys, instead of dating him himself someday.

 

Both of them sank deep in their thoughts along the walk and only told each other goodnight before both deciding to sleep off this cluster-fuck of thoughts for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, to all Sterek fans that are somehow reading this, I hope you are fine with how I wrote them >.


	6. Finally, envy no more (aka a talk with Simon)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A talk is sometimes good at relieving some worries (?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is heavy coming out stuff, REALLY REALLY let me know if I get anything wrong or offensive >.

It was another movie night at Alec and Magnus’ and they were all about to leave, since they all still had classes to attend the day after.

 

’Steven, you staying for the night?’ Magnus asked. It had become a semi-normal occurrence that Simon would spend the night at their place, ever since his sister got a boyfriend and Simon didn’t wanna be in the way. Also, he felt kinda awkward to be living with his sister and was planning to find a roommate some time next year. Magnus’ (and Alec)’ place was the only one spacious enough that even if Simon spending the night there, the two wouldn’t feel too cramped or anything.

 

‘Yes, Magnus. Simon is staying the night but no Steven’s staying, okay?’ Simon threw his hands up the air as he heard not-his-name again. Sometimes, he wondered if Magnus ever googled list of names start with an ’S’ just to keep this joke running, but he assumed he’d never know.

 

‘Very well, Stan. Would you please help cleaning up then? I have to finish up on my project before bed and it’d be great if you’d help out a little.’ Magnus disappeared into his room after this.

 

‘Alec, is he always like this? Throwing all the clean-up for me, now that I wanna stay around more.’ Simon couldn’t help but got exasperated with Magnus, not that he really minded helping out, it was more of Magnus’ tone that wind him up just to the point of annoyed but not mad.

 

‘Nah’ he’s just like that to you. Sometimes, I think he actually cares more about you that way. It’s like no matter he teases you all the time, you guys are still friends for sure.’ Alec laughed at Simon’s reaction. He secretly admired the interactions between the two, the way they joked and teased and got annoyed with each other.

 

‘I wouldn’t agree on that, if I didn’t know what he did for Clary and me. He was like this with me, after Clary was gone, I thought he meant every teasing word he spit on me and I was mad with him. Trust me, you wouldn’t believe how I hated Magnus then, like Clary was gone and then he just…kinda abandoned me? As if a pansexual nerd in high school wasn’t hard enough to get by, and then he had no friends…But then, Maureen found out that Magnus had been beating up whoever planned on bullying me after-school and I was like…WHAT…Magnus did what…for me? After that, I guess I have enough reasons to trust him to care enough, especially when he came out as bi then as well. It was confusing, you know no one ever knows what the fuck they’re doing in high school anyway. But well here I am, crashing into Magnus and finding Clary and Jocelyn once again. I’m just glad.’ Simon talked, as he picked up all the dirty plates and mugs from around the room and put them into the sink, with Alec trailing behind him.

 

‘Magnus beat up the bullies for you? Back in high school? And wait…you’re pansexual?’ As much as Alec was familiar with Simon non-stop ramblings, he still felt out of loop whenever the guy bombard everyone with excessive information all at once.

 

‘Hell yeah’ don’t underestimate that guy for his figure. He could throw a mean punch! And yup, I’m pansexual, kinda literally I would bang anyone that seems attractive to me, regardless of their gender identity and so and so.’ Simon continued to explain, as he turned on the tap and started to wash the dishes.

 

‘I know, I know what pansexual is. I did read up all about it when I was…’ Alec paused for a second before finishing the sentence. ‘Researching about being gay.’ His voice was way lower for the last part. He didn’t exactly want Simon to be the first one he literally say it out loud (Since Lydia figured out on her own and asked him outright about it, he only needed to nod.), but it seemed alright considering he was pansexual himself and Alec just felt relieved that he could say it out loud.

 

‘Hey it’s all cool, dude. So did you find out if you are? You would never wanna know how many times I have to explain to people what the hell is pansexual, my mum keeps making kitchenwares jokes whenever I went back home.’ Simon continued to wash but he did slow down talking after Alec’s reply. Alec took a breath before answering this time.

 

‘Yeah’ I am gay. I’d…appreciate if you don’t tell it to the rest of them for now, aside from Magnus.’ Alec picked up a towel and helped drying the dishes.

 

‘Oh…sure, man. Take your time.’ Simon nodded.

 

‘Simon…Can I ask how was it like for you? To come out? Like how did your family respond? If that’s…alright for me to ask?’ Alec kept his gaze on the dishes, instead of Simon.

 

‘No problem, man. Let me see…well it’s back in high school, Clary dragged me to join a queer club, said it’d be fun to check it out. So I went with her, naturally. At first, she was just curious about it, god knows where she knew about it. It could’ve been someone at school, or she was just researching for her art projects or something. I wasn’t planning on staying long, but somewhere along the way I made friends in the club and while I had a huge crush on Clary, I knew my superheroes crushes and all that. After Clary “disappeared”, there’s a guy in the club that’s kinda hot and shy…but he always tried to talk to me? So I was like why not see if he’s interested or something. So I dated him a while and since my mum has special power to know whatever I was up to, I kinda came out to my family, made me bring the boy over and all that crap. It definitely took some explaining to my mum about pansexual, but not bi? But she’s just happy to run with all the kitchen jokes now. She actually made my sister teach her how to send a photo on Facebook and texted me “Son, you brought away my pans, how am I gonna cook now?”’ Simon leaned against the counter, already done with washing and waiting for Alec to finish drying.

 

‘Was it…easy? Like figuring it all out and then telling it to your family?’ Alec hesitated, he didn’t want to make the mistake he made with Magnus at the park again.

 

‘It seems easy now, that I know my mum doesn’t mind and have friends that understands, especially since we’re in NYC. But yeah’ it was kinda hard for me to come to terms with it at first, like I was, well still am, a nerd and people already dislike me, did I really wanna put another unwelcoming label on myself in high school? It took me some time to decide “screw them all anyway”. I was fucking terrified when my mum asked me to bring the guy over as well. I mean, I knew she wasn’t gonna scold us, but who knew…It was terrifying even when she was warm and nice to the guy I brought over, only when she started to crack pan jokes that I fully believe she’s okay with it. Still, I know I had it better than most, but it’d never be easy, not really.’ Simon poured a mug of water after giving his answer, while Alec finished drying up and took in Simon’s words.

 

‘Okay, I’m gonna crash now. Real tired with the band practice earlier. Take it easy, big guy. No need to figure it all out at once.’ Simon clasped on Alec’s shoulder and gave him a reassuring grin, before heading for the washroom. Alec went into his room to take out the extra pillow and blanket for Simon, picked out his pyjamas pants and got ready for bed in the other washroom. (Yeah they had two washrooms, unless you want me to go into detail of how Magnus came to have the place, don’t ask)

Lying on his own bed, he felt more at ease with what Simon had told him. Though Alec still didn’t think his parents would be as warm and welcoming as Simon’s if he was to ever come out to them, he felt more assured that there would be people he met that accept him for it. Besides, if Simon was queer himself and Clary knew about the issue with him, it shouldn’t be a problem if he wanted to come out to his group of friends. Maybe Izzy would even try to hook him up with some guys, was the last thought in Alec’s mind before he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There'll still be a few more scenes in this VERSE (not this PART), so if you're excited to read more, let me know. (Maybe it'll make me work harder on them xD It's hopeful that I can get the Christmas scene out by Christmas, but we'll see. Thanks for reading this verse really, it meant a little more to me than the rest I wrote)


End file.
